What We Die For
by Jack Dalay
Summary: A semi-bittersweet romance which takes personalities from Clannad, and concepts from Angel Beats, and some other stuff from both. All original characters.
1. Part 1: Baseball

Jack Dalay

10 March 2012

**What We Die For**

**Part 1: Baseball**

Beep. Beep. Beep.

It was the sound of my alarm clock. It was again, like every other day, waking me up, keeping me from getting the extra sleep I, oh so, desire. It was a Saturday, and I could have maybe slept in a bit longer, but for some reason I thought there was something I had to do that day, so I got up anyway. I looked at the clock. Just one minute after eight. I got out of my bed, and went downstairs. I greeted my parents, ate breakfast, and then tried to figure out what I had to do today. There was something, I knew that, but I was not entirely sure what it was. My father walked by, looked at me, and said, "You should get ready for your baseball game. We have to leave in about an hour."

Baseball. Was that it? Somehow I wasn't sure, but I couldn't think of anything else. I went upstairs and changed into my baseball uniform. An hour later, just like my father had said, we left.

Upon arriving at the baseball field, I got warmed up. The other team looked much more skilled than ours, but that didn't had pulled through many seemingly impossible games before. Both of our teams were from the same town, but we were considered the home team nonetheless. So, we took the field. What followed was just a hazy, distant memory.

The game wasn't important, not in this story. What was important was the outcome, the only thing I truly do remember. It was the ninth inning. We were tied, and there was a go-ahead runner on 2nd, and I was up. We wouldn't lose if I struck out; in fact, there was only one out. But, that didn't make me any less nervous as I stepped up to the plate. I looked around me. Everyone seemed faceless, except my parents who were watching from the sidelines. I looked over at them, and they looked almost as nervous as I was. But, next to them was a girl. A girl I had never seen before, but it felt almost as if I had known her my entire life. She was extremely beautiful, and there was something about her that felt somewhat nostalgic. I turned toward the pitcher, and my "at bat" had begun.

I took the first pitch, and it was a ball. The pitcher was a bit wild, he walked a good amount of our team today. Another ball came, followed by a third one. The pitcher looked incredibly desperate. I looked at the coach, and he told me to take the pitch, ball or strike. That was what I originally planned to do, but...

The pitcher raised his foot and threw the ball. He was generally inaccurate, but fast. This ball was quite a bit slower, and seemed to be going right over the plate. I couldn't resist. I took a step forward, closed my eyes, and swung with everything I had.


	2. Part 2: Love

Jack Dalay

10 March 2012

**What We Die For**

**Part 2: Love**

Beep. Beep. Beep.

I was a bit dazed at first. Without opening my eyes, I maneuvered my hand over to my night stand and turned off my alarm clock. As soon as the beeping stopped I opened my eyes. It seemed almost as if I had stepped into another world. The baseball game, the girl, the pitch. Was it all a dream? It didn't feel like one, but what else was there for it to be? So I accepted it how it was. I looked at my calender to discover it was Monday. Monday in _September. _Baseball season isn't until March, yet that dream seemed so real. I slowly but surely got out my bed, and left for school.

On the bus ride there, I had put the dream in the back of my head, and just tried to get my thoughts together. It seemed just like every other Monday. I got off the bus, entered the school, put some books in my locker, and took some other books out. Then I went to homeroom. I sat down, and class started shortly after.

A girl walked into a room. Not just any girl but _the_ girl. The girl I saw yesterday. The girl I had only dreamt about. That girl.

"We have a new transfer student today entering our class today. Rosanna, please introduce yourself," my teacher said.

"My name is Rosanna, but most people just call me Rose. I'm looking forward to working with everyone," she said as she gave what may have been one of the biggest smiles I had ever seen before.

"You can sit over there," my teacher said as he pointed to the vacant seat next to mine.

Naturally, I was freaking out. This was the girl who I thought I dreamt up, but now she was sitting right next to me in homeroom. And it didn't end there either. She was in _every_ class I had. If that wasn't strange enough, she sat _next to me _in _**every**_class. This was the day I decided that I must have been losing my mind. Sitting next to her on that first day, I only noticed one thing. We didn't really talk much, but I noticed she was staring; where, I'm not sure, but whatever she was looking at, I wanted to look at it too. There was this look she had while she stared, a look that made it seem as she had just seen heaven and was now recollecting on it. She would hum while she stared. It was always the same little tune. As I walked home that day, I found myself to be humming it as well. Who _was_ this girl. That's what I aimed to find out.

I found out more about her bit by bit. She didn't seem to be very socially active. She seemed to live in her own little world. I wondered if she ever paid any attention to the teacher, as she never really looked to be. However, I soon found out by glancing at her test scores that she was indeed very smart. I wanted to reach out to her more than anything. I wanted to see what she was seeing. I found myself wanting to find out more and more, and as I found more, I started to fall in love with her.

One day in October, the weather seemed to be nicer than usual, so I decided to ride my bike to school. I locked it, fastening it to a tree in nearby woods when I got close, and walked the rest of the way. I approached a hill I had to walk, and out the bottom of it, was Rose. Just looking up at the sloping path. Not walking, just staring. I didn't know what to do. We were entirely alone, and I feel it would be awkward if I just walked ahead of her. I wanted to talk to her, but I didn't know what to say. She broke from her daze, and noticed me, standing there, just waiting for _something_ to happen.

"Hello, I guess you're walking to school today as well," she said cheerfully. I tensed up a little, but forced myself to continue the conversation.

"Yes. I normally commute by bus, but today seemed just so nice that I wanted to walk myself," I said as smoothly as I could, but the nervousness still broke my speech a little bit.

"Would you like to walk together?", she asked out of the blue. This was the first time I remember talking to her, even though we had sat next to each other for an entire month so far.

"Sure, I would be glad to," I replied. And so we walked. I tried to make small talk with her, just trying to find out more. Asking her questions, finding out things bit by bit. I was slightly disappointed by the time we got to school, but I sat next to her anyway, so I didn't mind.

I found myself riding my bike to school more often since then. She was always there, rain or shine, just looking at the hill until I arrived. One might assume that she was waiting for me, but that wasn't quite it. I found out many things about her. Things we had in common, what she liked to do. And we even started to interact more, but just a bit more, in class.

One morning, I found out that her family runs a bakery, and that she lives on the second floor of that bakery. I never see her when I walk down the hill to get my bike. When the bell rings, she is gone, she doesn't even go to her locker. So I decided to pay the bakery a visit. It was a small shop, but it felt warm and welcoming. Inside, the bread and other goods smelled delicious. I picked out some food and went to the cash register. The person running it was a girl who looked a lot like Rose, but slightly older. She was either her sister or her mother, I couldn't be entirely sure. As I pulled out my wallet, another person came in the room. He also looked like Rose, and I assumed he was her father. He had a baseball bat in his hand, and was leaving the bakery. Seemed a little suspicious, but I didn't question the matter. I said thank you to the lady running the shop, and as I left, Rose walked in.

"Oh, hello, I didn't know you would stop by," she told me as I walked toward her.

"You know my daughter?"said the lady who I now recognized as Rose's mother.

Awkwardly, I said, "Uh, yes, we sit next to each other in every class. This morning she told me that her family ran a bakery, so I decided to check it out."

She smiled at me, and told me her name was Christine. Before anything else could be said, the man from before walked in, smiled and said, "Hey Rose, are you playing or what? Wait, who is that guy?"

Christine then said, "This is Rose's new friend from school. He came to buy bread today," with a smile as bright as the one Rose would always wear.

"My name is Brendan. Say, kid, do you play baseball? Me and Rose were just about to go play some baseball with the neighborhood kids. If you wanna come you are more than welcome to join."

And so it all comes back to baseball. I joined them, and we played for quite a while. As the sun started to go down, I was going to leave, but they offered to keep me for dinner. I decided to take them up on their offer. I think it was on this day that you could really consider Rose and I to be friends.

We continued to walk together every day from the bottom of that hill. And every day she didn't start walking until I got there. In the rain, in the snow, in every condition the world threw at me. I always rode my bike to the hill, and she was always there looking at it. We overcame that hill together every day, and although we did talk a little in school now, our real conversations occurred on our morning walks. Days passed, weeks, months... Before I realized it, the school year was just about over.

I decided the last day of school was the day. I got up a lot earlier than normal. I rode my bike to the hill and made sure that today, I would be the one there before she was. This was something that hadn't happened before. She walked to the hill with her head down, looking slightly sad. As she got close enough, I called out to her with a smile and said, "Hey, are you ready for our last day?"

I don't think I had ever seen her so surprised before in my life at that moment. She was almost speechless actually.

"Listen Rose... I love you. I want to finish this last day knowing that you know that."

Now she was even more surprised than before. Words didn't form in her mouth. I didn't care as much to see if she loved me, I just wanted her to know my feelings. However, she finally started to talk.

"I.. I..." was all she said at first. But she then calmed down, and smiled.

"I love you, too."

Those four little words changed my life as I knew it. I blushed, and looked away for a second. I raised out my hand, and she took it. Hand in hand, we slowly walked up the long sloping path ahead of us.

More days, weeks, months, and years passed. We stayed together all through high school. But that is not what I remember the most. It was those walks we had back in middle school. We were discovering each other for the first time during those walks. It was magical.

Eventually, we were both out of college. I had gotten a steady job, a place of my own, and the only thing left was to ask her hand in marriage. First, however, I wanted to ask the permission of her father.

I approached him one day, and I think he knew what it was about. "I need to ask you something," I said seriously.

He looked at me, and said, "I don't want to hear it. I have an idea of what it is you want to tell me, and I'm not ready to give you an answer."

"Please!" I shouted, with my head down.

"Ok, how about this, I'll throw you my hardest pitch, and if you hit it, I'll listen to whatever you have to say," was his response.

"Listen and _agree_ to what I say."

"Fine," He agreed.

We went to the baseball field at the nearby park. I picked up the bat, and he the ball. We both got into our positions. No time needed to be wasted for this.

We took a cold look into each others eyes. I took a practice swing, and stood in my batting stance. He sighed, and then kicked up his foot, and threw the ball with all his might.

Suddenly, I was back where I started. In that dream I had years ago. Ninth inning, go-ahead runner on second, with Rose on the sidelines. And like that dream, I closed my eyes, and swung with everything I had.


	3. Part 3: Death

Jack Dalay

10 March 2012

**What We Die For**

**Part 3: Death**

Beep. Beep. Beep.

I reached out for my alarm clock, but the beeping wasn't my alarm clock. It was _never_ my alarm clock. I slowly opened my eyes. I wasn't in my bed, but a hospital bed. The beeping was from a heart sensor next to me. My eyes suddenly filled with tiredness as I closed them again.

They told me I was legally dead for two minutes. That's all it was. I lost a lot of blood, so an emergency blood transfer had to be done. My injuries weren't all that bad aside from the blood loss.

What I thought was a dream in what seemed to be many years ago, wasn't a dream. The ball was a curve ball, and made direct contact with my face. At first, I thought it was from Brendan's pitch, but none of my family had ever heard of Brendan, or Christine, or even Rose. They _had_ met her countless times, and I was entirely confused at first. But there was a mirror in the hospital room. I saw myself. All of the stitches were the last thing I saw. I was a middle schooler again. Or rather I never stopped being a middle schooler.

I had dreamt 20 years of my life in just 2 minutes. And now that I'm awake, everything I worked so hard to get done, suddenly was lost.

I am now in high school once again. Fifteen years old, and about to turn sixteen. In a normal love story, I would have hit a homerun off of Brendan, and me and Rose would have got married and lived our lives together. But those aren't _true_ love stories. True love involves more pain and sorrow than it does happiness sometimes, and very rarely has a fairy tale ending. That is just how love is. But, you can't focus on the sad. You just have to remember the happiness you shared, because above all that is what matters.

I don't think I'll ever forget Rose. Even though it is likely she doesn't or never did exist. Every night when I go to sleep, I visit her in my dreams. You would think I would be imagining what our life would be like if we did get married, but I don't think I've imagined that _once_. Every night I dream of us having our morning walks on that hill. When things get quiet, she hums that tune from when I first met her. My dreams never go past the hill. I never dream about our school life, or times playing baseball with the neighborhood kids. Just the hill. That long, sloping path we took every day back in middle school.

I carry Rose with me, everywhere I go. The scar I have from the accident is proof of that. The time we spent together felt like heaven. It felt like it might have been the thing Rose was always staring at, and I think I can finally see it, too. Maybe that was because it **was** heaven. I was dead during the time I visited her after all. And maybe that means that one day, whether it be the distant future, or very soon, I will see her again.

Today, I am visiting New York City with my family, and Rose is with me. She isn't but she _is_. My sister asks me to carry her backpack, and I do, but I refuse to wear it on my back. My family walks down the streets, looking for a good place to eat. There is a girl walking along the opposite side of us with her family, and as our paths cross I hear her humming. I freeze in my tracks. "It's the same song.." I mumbled. My family looked at me weird. Before they said anything, I dropped my sister's bag and turned around. I just stared at the girl. I smiled, and turned back around, and picked up my sister's bag.

"What was that about?" they asked.

"Oh nothing. I just thought that girl looked familiar, that is all."


End file.
